Jewish Marriage explained

Marriage officiant:

The Mesader kiddushin (Orthodox-ordained rabbi) plays a pivotal role in ensuring that the wedding ceremony is conducted in full accordance with halacha (Jewish law). As the officiant, the Messader kiddushin oversees and facilitates several key elements of the wedding ceremony to guarantee its halachic validity and spiritual integrity.

1- Jewish Engagement: Kiddushin /Erusin

In a Jewish wedding, the term "Erusin" refers to the betrothal or engagement, which is the first of two stages in the traditional ceremony. (The second stage is called Nisuin, and it is when the couple officially begins their life together) While traditionally these two stages could be separated by time, today they are typically combined and performed under the chuppah (wedding canopy). The erusin ceremony includes blessings over wine and the giving of the ring, symbolizing the Kiddushin /sanctification of the couple.

Legal Status: During Kiddushin, the woman becomes legally designated for her husband, and she is forbidden to all other men. A religious divorce (Get) is required to dissolve this relationship.

2- Jewish Marriage: Chupah /Nisuin

Chuppah: The chuppah is the wedding canopy, a physical structure (usually a cloth supported by four poles) under which the Jewish wedding ceremony takes place (engagement and Marriage). It symbolizes the new home the couple will build together and serves as a public declaration of their new status as husband and wife. It also represents God's presence and protection over the couple. 

Nisu'in: Nissuin is the second stage of the Jewish marriage process, signifying the full marital union. It follows the kiddushin (betrothal) phase and involves the couple living together as husband and wife. The Nisuin stage is often marked by the couple entering the chuppah and the recitation of the seven blessings (Sheva Brachot /7 blessings). 

3- The tenaim: (or "tna'im") 

The Tena'im is a traditional Jewish prenuptial agreement, historically read and signed during the engagement ceremony. It outlines the terms of the forthcoming marriage, including the wedding date and financial arrangements, and serves as a formal commitment between the couple and their families. This practice originated at a time when there was a significant gap between the engagement and the wedding. In contemporary times, since the engagement and marriage typically occur together under the chuppah, the Tena’im are now more a symbolic nod to tradition than a practical necessity.

4- Breaking the plate by the Choson Tish: (Groom’s reception)

In Jewish weddings, breaking a plate or glass is a symbolic ritual, often performed by the mothers of the bride and groom after the reading of the tenaim, to represent the seriousness of the marriage commitment. This action, like a broken plate, signifies a permanent bond that cannot be easily mended. The custom also serves as a reminder of the destruction of the Temple in Jerusalem and, in some traditions, anticipates the breaking of the glass at the end of the ceremony. 

5- The Ketubah:

A ketubah is a Jewish marriage contract outlining the groom's obligations to his wife. It includes financial provisions, such as support, clothing, and shelter, and may also address conjugal rights. It's written in Aramaic, signed by two witnesses, and read aloud during the wedding ceremony. The ketubah protects the wife, particularly in case of divorce or widowhood, by specifying the husband's financial responsibilities. 

6- The bedeken: Veiling ceremony

Also spelled badeken or b'deken, it is a Jewish wedding ceremony where the groom veils the bride's face. It's a pre-wedding ritual, often occurring just before the main wedding ceremony. 

According to several rabbinic authorities, the veiling was not a mere social formality, but had the force of law as it was legally considered the chuppah, which is the concluding step of the marriage. Most authorities today hold that it is a beautiful traditional ceremony, but that it does not have the significance of a chuppah. Nonetheless, its performance assures that all theories of chuppah are observed, to guarantee the absolute observance of the law of marriage, without exception.

7- Ring ceremony:

The groom gives a ring to the bride as part of the Kiddushin ceremony, signifying their commitment. This act, under the chuppah (wedding canopy) and in the presence of witnesses, is a legal requirement for the marriage to be valid. (The bride can give a ring to the husband once the wedding ceremony is over)

The ring must be a plain, unadorned band, ideally gold, and worth at least a minimal value. 

The Groom says "הרי את מקודשת לי בטבעת זו כדת משה וישראל"  "Behold, you are consecrated to me with this ring according to the law of Moses and Israel"

8- The Sheva Brachot: The Seven Blessings Under the Chuppah

The Sheva Brachot (Seven Blessings) are the emotional and spiritual centerpiece of the Jewish wedding ceremony. Recited under the chuppah after the kiddushin (betrothal) and ketubah reading, these blessings praise G-d for creation, the joy of marriage, and the future of the Jewish people. Each blessing is traditionally recited by a different honored guest or rabbi.

9- Breaking the glass:

Breaking the glass concludes the ceremony. The broken glass serves as a reminder of both the joys and sorrows in life, including the destruction of the Temple in Jerusalem. It also symbolizes the fragility of relationships and the importance of nurturing the marriage. 

10- Yichud room:

Yichud means seclusion. In a Jewish wedding, the "Cheder Yichud" is a private room where the newly married couple spends a few moments alone together immediately after the ceremony. This tradition, also known as "yichud" symbolizes the couple's first intimate time together as husband and wife. It's a crucial part of the Jewish wedding, and in some interpretations, may even be considered a necessary component of the marriage itself. 

11- Seudat Mitzvah (Festive Meal)

A large meal follows, full of music, dancing, and celebration. To fulfil the Mitzvah of rejoicing with the Groom and the Bride.